Many people grappling with eating disorders also struggle with perfectionism. It’s the voice pushing for flawlessness in every aspect of life, including food, body image, and self-worth. Understanding how perfectionism contributes to disordered eating is key to real healing. be Collaborative Care has laid out some information in this article to help you better understand yourself and navigate the road ahead.
The Perfectionism Trap: When High Standards Harm
Perfectionism can seem harmless—after all, what’s wrong with wanting to do your best? But for many, especially those managing eating disorders, perfectionism becomes less about motivation and more about self-punishment. It’s not just about high standards—it’s about needing to be seen as flawless, to avoid any sign of vulnerability, and to equate mistakes with failure.
Research published in the National Library of Medicine (NLM) shows a strong connection between eating disorders and perfectionism. According to the study’s authors, individuals with active eating disorders and those in partial recovery showed significantly higher levels of perfectionism than fully recovered individuals or those in the control group. This suggests perfectionism isn’t just a trait; it may be a core driver in the development and maintenance of an eating disorder. Recovery, then, isn’t just about food or weight—it’s also about softening this relentless inner critic.
Not All Perfectionism Is the Same
One reason eating disorders and perfectionism are so tightly linked is that perfectionism isn’t one-dimensional. It shows up in multiple ways, and not all of them are immediately obvious. The study by Bardone-Cone and colleagues examined several distinct forms:
- Trait perfectionism: the internal belief that you must be perfect or else have no value.
- Perfectionistic self-presentation: the need to appear perfect to others, even when you’re not.
- Perfectionism-related thoughts: the constant, often obsessive mental loops focused on mistakes and performance.
Those in partial recovery, people who may have stopped bingeing or purging but still battle body image concerns, scored high across all of these types. In contrast, those who were considered fully recovered had levels of perfectionism closer to people with no history of an eating disorder. This suggests full healing requires both behavioral changes and deep cognitive shifts.
Five Signs Perfectionism Might Be Getting in the Way
- You obsess over food choices — not just for health, but for how “good” or “disciplined” they make you feel.
- You feel guilty after eating “imperfectly,” even if the meal was enjoyable or nourishing.
- You avoid social eating situations because you fear being judged for your choices or appearance.
- You equate your weight or appearance with your worth. A single fluctuation can ruin your day.
- You present a flawless front to friends or colleagues, hiding any signs of struggle—even when you need help.
If these sound familiar, you’re not alone. And more importantly, these patterns aren’t fixed—they can shift with compassionate support and evidence-based care.
Recovery Means More Than “Looking” Recovered
Too often, recovery is measured by what can be seen: weight restored, meals eaten, behaviors stopped. But true recovery—especially from the grip of perfectionism—requires psychological healing. The study found that people who met physical and behavioral recovery criteria but still scored high on perfectionism were often more vulnerable to relapse. In contrast, those who had let go of disordered perfectionism fared much better over time.
This reinforces what many clinicians already know: Recovery isn’t just the absence of an eating disorder diagnosis. It’s the presence of a new mindset. A mindset that allows space for imperfection, rest, joy, and self-compassion.
What Healing Might Mean for You
Recovery from both eating disorders and perfectionism is possible, but it requires intention and patience. You might start by:
- Working with a therapist who specializes in both eating disorders and perfectionism.
- Exploring your core beliefs about success, worthiness, and failure.
- Practicing vulnerability—letting someone see the messy, unfiltered parts of you.
- Building in flexibility around food and movement instead of strict rules.
- Celebrating small progress instead of waiting for perfection.
What’s powerful is that studies show perfectionism can decrease over time. People who made full recoveries often saw perfectionistic thinking shift significantly, especially when treatment focused on both external behaviors and internal self-talk. The brain, like the body, can heal.
Healing Doesn’t Demand Perfection
Eating disorders thrive in silence and secrecy. Perfectionism is fueled by shame and control. But recovery grows in places where we tell the truth, ask for help, and allow ourselves to be seen as fully human. Be gentle with yourself. Healing doesn’t require perfection. It never did.
If you’re ready to explore what recovery can look like for you—mentally, emotionally, and physically—be Collaborative Care is here to help.